Time to Re-focus....

Note to self: I just took my 18th pill at around 12:00 A.M. on Thursday October 30th. By the time I submit this, it's probably Friday already.

Ok, with that being pushed out of the way, lets start with some things I have to do for next week. I still have 3 midterms next week. Can you believe that?!?! Better yet, I have to write two cover letters for two company's by tomorrow morning. I have been putting it off since Wed night, which was when I took my last final. I really have to just step up to the plate and take action.

One couselor told me to practice what I preach. - What this meant was that I am usually the one to give advice on possibly doing the right thing, staying focused and all that good stuff, but lately... I've been so overwhelmed with the amount of work that I have all the time, that when I do have time, I end up wasting it, by catching up on episodes of heroes, smallville, entourage. Those are my shows... and now even worse is that NBA season started. So... it's really a tough gamble all the time. Look at it this way, the time I'm spending writing this blog, I could be taking care of the two cover letters.

However, before I go, I wanted to share another experience that had occured which was a short conversation with an intellectual professor who I believe has become very successful in his career to be percieved as a hot commodity. What he asked was a simple question, but I still have trouble answering it and it's simply "what do you want to do?" And... so I got to thinking again and again throughout the ride home and in the shower and even now. Sometimes, I even have the urge to put the blame on the lack fo guidance and how I never really had a father-figure to guide me towards a path, yet it only makes my struggles harder fought. I also had met with an internship coordinator recently and she was the one who gave the preach stuff above, but she also told me clear cut and was brutally honest with me. That's what I need more. I need people like her to really shut me down so I can learn from it over and over again, every single time.

I think this is enough. I need some rest. Time to research fox 5 real quick and then going to write my cover letter by tomorrow.